March 18th Dating Reboot (Copy)

Me specifically to come and share.

But I keep a profile on Facebook dating because, you know, it's free, it's easy.

I go on Facebook for other things.

So, you know, but I really had much luck with the Facebook dating even, you know, over a couple of years.

I mean, maybe I went on one date from that.

Maybe I connected with one other person, and we talked and made plans for a date, and then it fell apart before we even met.

And, you know, or there's just these boring exchanges of, messaging, then I go, what's the point here?

Like, these are not even interesting interactions.

And I was really, like, ready to say, all right, I'm not even going to go into Facebook dating anymore, because, you know, I just wasn't managing it very well.

Like, I was getting frustrated.

I was spending too much time because I couldn't control the outcome, and yada, yada.

And I go in this one day a few weeks ago, and, I now know, I think when we talked, Desi, I didn't know that this guy had liked me, because this was like, I was doing this so mindlessly that I really didn't know when we connected, how we connected.

But he had liked me.

So he had shown up in my liked you, queue.

And I looked at him and I was like, it sounds interesting.

Like, I like certain things.

He said, it's, you know, he listed a town that I roughly knew where it was, but I thought it might be a little too far, but I was just like, whatever, I'm going to swipe, right?

And, like, I immediately got a very engaged response when I say immediately, like, within 24 hours, you know, it doesn't matter.

Exactly.

and not only was it like, I'm so great, you know, so happy that we connected, but, you know, immediately offered a bunch of information beyond what was on the profile that would have been sort of vetting or curiosity questions that I might have asked.

And I was like, whoa, okay, how did this happen?

But let's go with it.

And so I offered the information back, you know, sort of tit for tat, and it went from there.

And then very quickly, he was like, even though he does live far away, he works near me, and he goes into his office three days a week.

And so.

Which he shared with me, and he's like, I'm free the next two days, you know, if you're available.

And I'm like, well, I'm not available tomorrow night, but I hope to be available the following night.

I'm working on my taxes.

Can I let you know, you know, later tonight or tomorrow morning when I have a better, sense of if I'm going to be done getting all my tax stuff together?

And he's like, sure, you can let me know in the morning.

And so we met and we met for dinner.

And now mind you, I normally don't meet someone that quickly.

but I, you know, it was just so easy and so open that I had no reservations.

I mean, once I got his last name and could confirm that he was who he said he was, then, yeah, we went to dinner, we closed the restaurant down.

So five hour date.

And we've had three, dates since then.

you know, kind of all, you know, meet for dinner and spend like five hours together.

And then, you know, the interactions through text have increased and we talk the whole time.

It's like, whatever.

So, you know, Desi, I like, was like, she's going to be like when I tell her, like, see, I told you, like when you don't have any expectations, that's when, you know, the universe provides.

so now for the mo.

Mostly what I sort of need to do is, you know, I have an awareness of my saboteurs or other things.

So just keep an eye on those things and kind of just go with the flow.

so that's the, you know, my story to share.

Lynn, would you mind sharing also, like the green flags?

Because you told me how, like, I'm trying to remember what I said.

Some of them were, you know, he immediately.

So the green flags were a combination of what he immediately offered and any questions that I asked, you know, he just answered.

So, you know, I knew, I, you know, I, I knew that he had divorced.

I knew how long he had, ago he had divorced.

I know, knew that he had another, significant relationship for five years and that he was out of that for six months.

So, you know, the six months maybe made me a little bit nervous, but I was like, I'm not going to ask him.

I've learned not to ask.

As we were talking about earlier in the, call.

but, but so I'm just gonna see, right, I'm gonna see like just how, how he is, you know.

And I know some of the other green flags were that, he had only nice things to say about his ex wife and, like, giving her credit for things she did for their kids.

And, and once or twice maybe he slipped into something that was, getting close to negative, and then he caught himself and said, no, no, I don't want to go down that path.

I've learned that it's not a good path to go down.

He's been very polite, very respectful.

we both talk a lot.

But there's, an even kind of balance.

And it's along the lines of everything has just been so aligned, so in sync.

It was this serendipitous meeting and every little thing, like, down to what appetizer do you want to share?

What dessert do you want to share?

Which of these restaurants do you want to go to for dinner that I'm like, I'm trying really hard not to look for problems where there aren't any problems.

Are you planning to see him again?

Yeah.

And it's funny because We haven't actually spoken on the phone at all, which is fine.

but he's going to Florida Saturday morning, and he'll be away for a week.

And so last Night we went out, and afterwards, he's, you know, as we're saying goodbye, he's like, what are you going to do next Tuesday?

Because we've gone out the last three Tuesdays, and, And then he's like, wow, I'm going to miss you.

And, I'm going to call you.

And I was just like, okay, that's good.

So I will see how next week plays out.

but I don't expect anything different to happen.

Yeah.

I think it's great.

And, you know, the point of having the first three or four dates is not to know.

Is this going to be the person I spend the rest of my life with?

Right.

The point of having three or four dates is to say, do I know enough that I want to keep investing in this person, or do I want to cut my losses?

Because by that point, you're going to know if enough about the person to know, are we aligned on the important things?

Have I seen any red flags?

Any deal breakers?

Do I feel safe and, you know, good in his company and his presence and, and so, you know, you have all these, like, things that come up in the very beginning that are going to tell you how much of it is pointing towards.

Continue, invest, invest, and see where it goes versus pull back and just move in a different direction.

So, We'll see.

We'll see where this goes.

So thank you, Lynn, so much.

And, you know, I'm here to.

To believe for all of you, that you're going to find your person at some point.

Don't give up.

Okay.

you have a good night, everyone.