Workshop: Reflect, Recharge, and Refocus

All right, Well, I just want to say welcome to everybody who's able to make it today.

I thought we'd just start with a question to get everybody on the same page.

And that question is, why are you here?

So likely you are falling into one of three categories.

You are a member of the Lighthouse already, and you know exactly why you're here.

Because, hopefully you get value out of these sessions and you're ready for the next one.

Got some exciting ones coming up, by the way, that you'll learn about today that haven't posted yet in the Lighthouse.

Or you are part of group two.

You are somewhat interested in the Lighthouse and you'd like to check it out and see what it is exactly we're doing here.

if that's you, welcome.

Hope, we can give you a good taste of what this is and answer any questions towards the end.

Or maybe you are part of group three.

You really don't have any interest in the Lighthouse at all, but you are intrigued by the topic of this workshop, Reflect, recharge, and Refocus.

If that's the case, that's fine.

You're welcome to join today as well.

I'm hoping by the end that, that we can convince you to be at least a little bit more interested in the Lighthouse.

And we know that budget is a concern for some.

but we'll talk about different options again towards the end once we're done with the actual workshop.

For any who are interested, we can talk about options to get your employer to pay for it.

Obviously, that's a big one.

and if you're paying out of pocket and budget is.

Is a major concern, we are going to offer a few scholarships for this time around, so we can talk about that as well.

All right.

But we are happy to have everybody here.

I'm going to go ahead and, share my screen.

And this is the theme of today's workshop, Reflect, Recharge, and Refocus.

So for those of you that have taken a workshop, with me before, you know that I'm a big fan of frameworks.

And here is a common one that you've probably heard me use before.

It's the what, why, how framework.

So what we're going to be talking about today is what is Reflect, Recharge, and refocus?

Why is it so valuable and how do you do it?

And just having this framework right from the beginning is going to help us to get more value out of this.

To remember what we're learning and hopefully it has a bigger impact on us and it's something that we can carry forward.

So let's start with that first question.

What is Reflect, Recharge and Refocus?

Well, in very simple terms, it's an exercise.

You can think of it as a thought exercise.

I prefer to refer to it as a writing exercise because through that writing you are actually engaging in thought, but you're actually making connections as well.

That's why I encourage people to write pen to paper if possible.

There's research that shows you make stronger connections and you make, what you're learning more of a part of you when you do that, and you carry it with you.

So Reflect, Recharge and Refocus is a writing and thought exercise that helps you to do those three things, helps you to reflect on what has gone well over the last period of time.

We're going to do six to eight months today.

It helps you to take now that reflection and use it to recharge yourself, to give you more motivation, more fire, so to speak.

And we'll see exactly how you do that.

And then it helps you to refocus.

Why?

Because you've seen what works.

Well, now you can repeat those things, strive to repeat them, or strive to expand or build upon them.

So that's the exercise that we're going to be engaging today.

Why is it valuable?

Well, research shows that even though we go through, a similar number, and of course this differs for everyone, of good things and bad things, we tend to remember and focus more on the bad things that happen.

You can think of a way to illustrate this.

If you think about the last bad day you had, you probably had 9 to 10 bad, I'm sorry, 9 to 10 good things happen to you on that day.

but the one bad thing that happened is what you concentrate on.

It's what you focus on.

Focus on.

It's what tends to ruin our day, sometimes our week or our month.

And that's not even necessarily because of the gravity of what happened, but because we emotionally tend to focus on it.

But when we do this exercise and intentionally reflect on what good things have happened, well, then we bring this back into balance.

And in reality, we actually probably make the good thing a little bit bigger, which is helpful.

Why?

Because then it helps us to recharge.

How so?

Well, you may have attended some of you, the resilience workshop that we held a few months ago, and we talked about how resilience is a muscle and what a strong, powerful quality this is.

And what are we talking about?

Well, just a brief, refresher.

Resilience is the ability to power through or make it through very challenging events and also to bounce back from challenging events or things that have, gone wrong.

That's resilience.

And so by reflecting on what has gone well, that's one way to build your resilience muscle, because you're having a more balanced perspective when things go wrong.

The next time you have something to draw back on, you remember, well, things don't always go wrong.

Many times things go right.

And a lot of things have gone right in the past three months or six months, however long you do the exercise.

And so this is one way it helps you to recharge.

There's another way, though.

if you attended the EQ4 leaders session a few months ago, everyone here in the light, everyone that's a member of the Lighthouse, or not everyone, but many that were a member of the lighthouse did, but some others may have as well.

We had Jeff Hayden as a guest speaker.

Jeff's the author of the Motivation Myth, longtime Ink columnist, and he speaks to what exactly the motivation myth is.

What is it?

Well, in a nutshell, we tend to think that successful people start with motivation.

They are just able to get themselves motivated more, and that's why they're successful.

But in reality, what Jeff set out, sets out to prove in his book is that motivation looks a little more like this.

You start with effort.

When you put forth effort, you start to see good results.

You're very happy to see those good results, and that gives you the motivation, which then motivates you to put forth more effort.

So motivation, Jeff argues, and I tend to agree with this.

I've seen it at work in, my own life.

Motivation is not the beginning of the cycle.

Somehow you have to get yourself to put in the effort first, and you think about even people or maybe even yourself.

As you started with motivation, maybe things didn't go well right away.

Talk about doing something hard, like, preparing for a marathon or trying to learn an instrument.

If you don't see enough benefit right away, you may have given up or you may have seen others give up.

In contrast, if we can get ourselves to put in just enough effort, to the point that we see some good results, then often that will start the cycle, going with a little bit more momentum, and then we just keep going and going.

So what does this have to do with reflect, recharge, refocus?

Well, by reflecting on the good results, we're really concentrating our effort there, aren't we?

And that then produces motivation, so it can help us to recharge in that way as well.

And then we get to the third part.

Well, what is refocus?

Well, we alluded to it a minute ago, but refocus now is seeing what went well and now seeing how you can repeat those things, build upon those things, expand upon those things.

So, for example, today we're going to review what went well over the past six, seven months or so, and we're going to see how can we build upon those things, how can we do more of that?

And that helps us to be focused in the months ahead.

So that brings us already to our third question.

And if you haven't guessed, that's where we're going to spend most of our time today.

How do you do it?

How do you reflect, recharge and refocus?

Well, we're going to use a rule or a tool.

I like to refer to it as a rule because it's easy to remember the rule of reappraisal.

And if you, have access to the rules of emotional intelligence, maybe you've purchased that course in the past, or, the members of the Lighthouse get that as part of their EQ toolkit.

Then you may be familiar with this, but this video very few people have seen because it's different from the one, that's in the toolkit or in the rules course.

And this is what I originally wanted in that course, but it came late and I never replaced it.

So you're one of the few that get to see this for the first time, and I'm going to play it for you now.

This is the tool we're going to use to do our reflect, recharge, refocus exercise today.

Let's watch.

Feeling down or discouraged, Remember the rule of reappraisal.

When I was in my 20s, I started learning Tagalog, or Filipino, my father's native language.

It was exciting and rewarding to learn a new language, especially one that taught me so much about my father's culture and my own roots.

But it was also extremely frustrating because as hard as I worked, I couldn't express myself the way I wanted.

The word I needed often seemed just beyond my grasp, and my grammar was full of mistakes.

One day, feeling especially down, I shared my feelings with a close, close friend.

He told me something I've never forgotten.

Don't focus on the road ahead.

Instead, look at how far you've come.

This pearl of wisdom helped me to change my perspective.

Learning a language is a never ending journey even for native speakers, so focusing on the path ahead is self defeating.

But what happened?

When I look back just a few years before, I could barely say anything in Filipino.

Now I could hold a full conversation.

I could enjoy Filipino movies and humor.

I even took a solo trip to the Philippines which turned out to be a life changing experience.

With that single shift in perspective, my whole attitude towards learning my father's language changed.

Frustration transformed to contentment.

Disappointment became appreciation.

Hope less turned into hopefully.

I like to call this lesson the rule of Reappraisal.

When you feel discouraged or unproductive, take time to reassess and appreciate what you've accomplished or how others have helped you.

In a paper titled the Headwinds Tailwinds Asymmetry, two psychologists, Shai Devadai and Thomas Gilovich, explained that we tend to focus on the obstacles and challenges in life, the headwinds, and quickly lose track of the more positive happenings, the tailwinds.

Researchers have shown that the way to combat this tendency is to take time to reflect on what has gone well.

For example, a 2005 study led by psychologist Martin Zelligman found that spending five to 10 minutes each day writing about things that went well increased happiness in participants for up to six months.

This is why the rule of reappraisal is so helpful.

Whenever you feel discouraged, unproductive, or afraid you won't manage what's ahead.

It pays to take time to reflect, to be thankful for what you've accomplished and what others have given you.

Doing so accomplishes two major things.

First, it helps you to train your brain strengthening neural pathways so that you can more easily remember and appreciate the more positive elements in your life.

And second, it provides needed motivation.

For example, let's say you get to the end of a long workday and you feel defeated.

Compared with what's left to do, you've barely made a dent.

You're focusing on the path ahead.

But, looking back, what did you manage to accomplish?

Did you move a project or task forward?

Did you brainstorm any new ideas?

Did you get any little tasks done?

Maybe emails or errands?

Did you help anyone else with what they needed to get done?

Even if the answer to all of these questions is no, at least you made it through the day.

That in itself is an accomplishment.

So the next time you feel that your day, week, or even year was a failure, resist the urge to look ahead.

Instead, take a moment to look back.

You might be surprised to see just how far you've come.

Try this the next time you feel unproductive or down.

Don't focus on what's left to do or what you're missing.

Instead, ask yourself, what have I achieved?

What can I say I've done that I couldn't say before?

How have others helped me?

How does it make me feel?

Now take a moment and reflect on the answers to those questions.

Questions.

And remember, you've come a long way, baby.

All right?

So don't worry if you didn't get those questions.

We're going to share them again.

Okay?

And going back to how do you do it?

So, about the rule of reappraisal.

you may know this from, there's a psychological term called cognitive reappraisal, which basically means reframing how you think about a situation.

That's what we're trying to do here.

How do we do it?

We're going to do now, for the next minutes, a group exercise.

We're going to focus first on the Lighthouse, because this is a way to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, to reflect on what we've accomplished.

Those of us who are in the Lighthouse, reflect on what we've accomplished since launch six months ago.

See what we've learned, and we'll give you Lighthouse members a chance to comment as well and share what you've appreciated, what you've enjoyed, what you've learned.

but then after that, then we're all going to do this exercise, and we'll have about 10 minutes of silence, and we'll have the questions on the screen to give you a chance to actually have the time to go through these questions and answer them for yourself.

And then we can share, as well, anything that, anybody's willing to share.

So let's start.

I will share some things that I've been reflecting on since we launched the Lighthouse in early March and what we've accomplished since then.

What have we achieved?

That was the first question in our exercise.

The number one answer is community.

I, feel like I have really built a team, or we is a better term.

We have built a team of EQ enthusiasts.

This is the dream team of emotional intelligence enthusiasts.

We all, appreciate emotional intelligence and what it has to offer.

And, that is the best thing that's come out of this because it gives us a chance to go deeper on these topics.

It gives us a chance to share our own experiences, and most importantly, it gives us a chance to learn from each other.

And this is the thing, if you've Been reading any of the emails for the past weeks.

I keep alluding to the big surprise, the big thing that I wasn't expecting that now.

I expected there to be some sense of community, but I was actually quite afraid of that.

And that's why I thought about this project for two years before I started building it because I wasn't sure if I was the right person to manage a community.

I wasn't sure how it would be to have all these people coming in with their own thoughts and ideas.

but I went through with it because I thought, well, most of these people are coming to see me, they like my work, they want to work with me.

Well, hopefully that's somewhat true.

But what I've learned is it's much more about what we're learning from each other.

I've learned so much from each of the members in this community.

I've seen the members learn from each other.

We've had members run workshops, we've had members get interviewed, we've had members put in posts and comments.

We've had members meet offline.

And this has just been something that I didn't imagine was going to take on a life of its own.

And I'm so happy to see.

and it's something that I didn't predict but that I am very happy that we've achieved together.

Another thing we've achieved is these events.

So we've had some really great events in Lighthouse.

So in the top right you'll see one of our I think really, really appreciated workshops with author Anloa lecomph.

She is a neuroscientist and a former Googler.

But she was big in the news lately because she wrote this book Tiny Experiments and she was gracious enough to come visit the Lighthouse and not just do a workshop where she shared some of her ideas and frameworks from the book.

But, and here's the great thing that we really appreciate about here is that anyone that comes live gets to ask the guest questions as well.

So anyone that had read the book or that had read any of her work could ask onlore directly, follow up questions and well, how about this?

Or how do you apply that?

And it just seemed to resonate with so many members, myself included, because it really helped us to see time differently, a different way.

She talks about different ways of looking at time.

She talks about never feeling too late to start something, even when others have started much earlier or it feels like you're the last one getting started.

And she really helped unlock, I think, for a lot of us, overcoming, fear of getting started by holding tiny experiments.

Even if you join the Lighthouse later, you get access to workshops like this one.

But this was a great one.

The, other one, I'll jump to the bottom left.

Kevin, who you may see right here in the audience today, Kevin Boddy.

He spent years in the fire service, and eventually left the fire service.

And now he runs his own coaching business where he helps Well, I'll speak directly to you, Kevin, and to the Lighthouse.

You know, Kevin helps mentor fire service leaders now and helps them to become lieutenants, to become captains.

Captains to become chiefs.

And for those of you in the Lighthouse that didn't get this session, Kevin commented one day on a post, and he mentioned his Mission Vision Values framework.

And I had heard of Mission Vision Values before, but I'd never dove deep into it.

I had never actually practiced it.

And so that single comment turned into an online discussion, turned into a meeting, turned into, this is a workshop we should bring into the work, to the Lighthouse.

And we did.

And it also resonated.

the ones who attended loved it.

They were able to submit their Mission vision and values.

Kevin was again, gracious enough to help, to give feedback on those.

And it's just something we've been continuing to iterate since then.

It's something I use on a daily and weekly basis to help me make decisions in both my professional and personal life.

And others are telling me they're using it too.

And the bottom one, many of you attended this.

This was a course I actually taught outside the Lighthouse, EQ for Leaders.

I usually teach this course once a year, but as you Lighthouse members know, you get access to all these things.

So many came ahead and, went ahead and joined together with those that were taking it from other companies.

And that was great because we got to learn from those outside perspectives, from persons who weren't in the Lighthouse.

They got to learn from us.

And it just continued that cycle of learning and building.

So those were a couple of things that I really appreciated as well.

And then another thing that, through my reflection, I really thought a lot about was the, toolkit.

Now, the toolkit is a number of different on demand courses, like the Rules of Emotional Intelligence, like Get to Know Yourself, which is our personality course.

And then you see the books and workbooks here on the side.

Now, coming from a student perspective, I had to, exercise my empathy muscle and realize how overwhelming it must be to just have access to all these things.

And if you're like me, you get value.

Hopefully if you buy a course or if you read a book, some of that you'll take with you.

because it's a learning that you take with you.

But many times what happens, we kind of forget about it.

We never come back to it.

It just kind of sits somewhere.

And that's, upon reflection, another great advantage here in the Lighthouse is we keep coming back to these tools.

So it's not something that just sits on the shelf.

Many times, someone would post something that happen to really, line up well with one of the rules.

And so I could just reference that rule, which I can link and the person can just hit the link and they're right there in the lesson.

They can watch the 5 minute video or just read if they want.

sometimes we would have private messages, conversations, direct message conversations.

And, there would be a chance to say, oh, this, this lesson here.

For example, a coach, one of the members asked me, I have a client, she's really struggling with this.

How can we help her with that?

I have a lesson that's great for that.

That's a great starting point.

Reference the lesson.

Now, the coach can use that lesson even as a foundation for the next coaching discussion if she wanted.

Or if you're a manager, you could use that as a foundation for your, your discussion with your teammate, your direct report, whoever you're working with.

So that was another thing, upon reflection, is just having all these things in one place, but also being able to continue to reference them, continue to come back them and continue to use them instead of them just sitting useless somewhere.

I feel like that is really a great advantage that we've achieved over the past months.

Here's Our next question.

I hope I'm not embarrassing, but what can we say that we've done that we couldn't say before?

And this was another big surprise is seeing members of the Lighthouse connect with each other.

Now that's something I think I've gotten a lot of joy with in my personal life in the past.

Introducing two colleagues that I think would really get along or would really complement each other, or introducing even two friends that I think magic.

Okay, thank you for our AV help.

Watch your microphones, everyone.

You might be off mute, but we've got some help with that.

But okay, so, that's something that I had enjoyed in the past, but I had never, at least not since I started doing this work with EQ applied.

I didn't Feel like I was really having the chance to do that.

And the Lighthouses reopened that chance of just seeing organically, friends, colleagues, people that I gel with professionally find their own, how their own superpowers complement each other, how their own interests align and then having meetings, offline or on Zoom or whatever it is.

And Gloria and Lane told me great experiences about having that.

Gloria lalanne, if you didn't hear right before this meeting she said you guys met again.

So that's really happy for me to see.

And that's just one example.

I picked those two.

I know Laura and Jeff have connected offline.

I know, Denise, and Kevin have expressed appreciation for each other's thoughts and, and we're seeing more and more of that Moritz and Paul and we just see it all over the place.

And that's something that I couldn't say that I've done a lot of recently and that I really was happy to see.

In a Lighthouse.

How have we helped each other?

Well, this is an easy one because I think everything that's gone on in the lighthouse, as you can tell from me talking, is just us helping each other.

again everyone is willing to share their expertise not just in emotional intelligence, but how emotional intelligence applies to their profession, their industry.

Getting those different perspectives helps us to reframe how we see things.

maybe the first picture that will draw your attention is this one on the right, which is to this date the most popular post in the Lighthouse by Moritz, who shared the leadership lessons he learned from a horsemanship training.

And it just resonated with so many of us because as we saw how horses respond to people and this workshop that he attended that taught how leadership between human, leaders and humans, is much the same as leadership between humans and horses.

we've been talking about that post since it was there.

We've done follow up posts.

We're hoping to do a workshop based on Moritz's workshop in the future.

But it really changed a lot of how I see personality and leadership.

It deepened my understanding of those things and we're continuing to benefit from those discussions today.

Had a chance to talk with Paul here in the lower left and he share things that he learned from EQ applied and how he's using it in his specific workplace, which helped me to see different ways that I could recommend using it to others and helped other members to see how they could use it in their own work as well.

And then you just see, I believe this Other screenshot is from Kevin doing his Mission Vision Values workshop.

And you can just see how engaged we are.

we're all listening and learning from each other and how we apply these tools because everyone's going to use them in a slightly different way.

And so we learn not just from using them ourselves, but from how others are using them, too.

And I just had to post this screenshot from Denise.

This was the day before, I believe, of my, or of our, Mission Vision Values workshop, which had gone.

Kevin and I had done so much work on it, but the week of everything was going wrong.

My wife was sick, my kids were sick, I was running around, and I just, you know, felt that the Lighthouse was a safe space to express how I was feeling.

And, Denise gave this wonderful message which helped me completely reframe how I was looking at the situation and, and helped me to get through what turned out to be one of our greatest, workshops yet.

So thank you, Denise.

And that's just an example of the kind of support we're trying to give each other and, that I was thankful for.

Upon reflection.

How does it make us feel?

Well, I can speak for myself.

I asked ChatGPT to, make an image of me as the Human Torch comic book character.

Here's what it came up with.

Yeah, I'm glad that I have more hair.

I don't know.

He's a bit better looking than me.

I think a little more facial hair.

But wait, there's one thing missing.

Hold on.

Okay, that's better.

All right.

But this does express how I feel.

I feel reignited with my work because of what we've been doing here.

I've deepened my connections with those that are in here.

I'm learning from you all.

As I've said, it's inspired so much of my own writing because I'm writing about the challenges that you all have shared with me and, how we're trying to solve those together.

and it has just been, one of the best, I'd say, the best thing for my work since, the book, which was, eight years ago at this point, I learned more, from this process, and we're just beginning, I think, than from writing the book.

So this has been a great, great experience for me.

And now I want to give a minute to you Lighthouse members, if you're comfortable sharing.

I, know this is a much bigger group than we usually have.

but I'm going to stop sharing for a moment here and just give you the chance Any who are, willing to share as you think about what you've learned and what you've participated in the lighthouse over these last months.

yeah, I guess just raise your virtual hand or, let me know and I'd be happy to hear what you have to say.

Lalaine, please start us off.

Yes.

So, where do I begin, Justin?

So being one of those, pioneers, I'm just putting that name, pioneers of the lighthouse, it really helped me reframing questions.

Being in the lighthouse when I'm stuck.

Help me reframe questions.

I can use the landscape as my.

My laboratory.

So for anyone who's like, have an idea, and you're like, this is a safe place to bring those ideas and ask the team, it gave me the courage and helped me think differently.

So thank you.

Thank you, Lighthouse.

it really moved my needle since March and where I am now.

And I shared this earlier with Luria.

We've been teaming up.

We've been, you know, so happy that, we.

We can have our own thing going on outside the lighthouse.

So thank you for the opportunity, Justin, in creating this space.

No, thank you too, Elaine.

It makes me so happy.

And like I said, we're learning from each other, so it's awesome.

Gloria, please.

I'd say just two among the others, but one, being a social introvert, I don't like community at all.

so I really thought, it's going to be tiring, and why should I belong to that?

But I found that the way that you work and coordinate this work is very like, the kind of interaction we have are really nourishing each other.

And so I'm finding again, the pleasure of connecting with selected people because they all bring something.

And so being introvert, I'm finding.

Okay, but if it's selected, it can be really nourishing.

And that's one thing.

And the second thing, what I found is being so busy with my job, I'm like, where do I.

It's not possible to find time, but I find that if it's just one hour that you run, I always get something very strong and inspiring.

So it's absolutely, absolutely worth it for me to book that time.

And I see that as part of my personal investment and growth as well.

Oh, that's awesome.

Thank you, Gloria.

Thank you for sharing that.

Denise, please.

Yeah, thanks, Justin.

I mean, let me just start out by saying I think you have contributed so much to so many of us that, you know, I'm just grateful that I've had the opportunity to be a part of the Lighthouse.

And I saw a lot of other people comment on that when you were.

When you were just speaking earlier.

So thank you for that.

for me, I mean, I would echo what lalanne said, but I'll also say this space has given me the, opportunity to be a little bit more vulnerable.

Because it's a space if I'm looking for advice, support, help, like, you know, any inputs on how I'm thinking about my mission, values and vision.

That Kevin was very, you know, great about providing feedback, and it was authentic and I always appreciate that.

So it's enabled me to just open up, I guess, and ask for help where I need it and get it in a way that feels just warm and welcoming.

and also, like, sometimes just there's things you don't want to hear that you're going to hear.

And that's good too, right?

You're getting feedback.

It's the greatest form of feedback.

If someone gives you that gift, that's it.

Oh, that's great.

Thank you, Denise.

That's awesome.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Jeff, please.

I'd like to just start by saying thank you, Justin, for saying yes to your idea.

You know, this.

This wouldn't be here today if, if you had said, no, I'm not going to do this.

But, and it's, it's, you know, it's monumental.

Right?

It's challenging.

But, I think all the bullet points you made earlier were just spot on.

It just reminded me of everything that's being offered inside the Lighthouse, of, like, what kind of value is there that.

Where you can get this?

And there's very few places.

And, the.

I think the one thing that we might have missed, you might have said it was like the, you know, the.

The ability to put a chat or a question in the Lighthouse, where people can chime in and reply and type, you know, and you read it, maybe not reply right away, sleep on it.

And what, you know, does it need to be said?

It need to be said right now.

You apply the rules and how do I say this?

And maybe there's someone better.

So I think there's just so much value in that aspect of it.

and a nod to Kevin as well.

I think what everyone has said, that vision, values, mission work, allowed me to kind of rethink what I was currently doing, to look at something that I thought I knew about in a different way.

So I think there's just a lot of learning Opportunity all around.

And, I look forward to more support, more.

More things that can come together through dialogue and, you know, innovation, those kinds of things.

That's awesome, Jeff.

Thank you so much for sharing openly.

We appreciate that.

Moritz.

please.

Yeah, so what.

What I enjoy is that, because it's a community, right?

It's not an open network.

Nobody's promoting himself, kind of like.

But everybody's just real about what, what your needs are, what you want to know or what you want to share.

It's not like there's no vanity.

And it's really cool, because then it's valuable.

And as Gloria said, none of us has time, really.

Right.

We don't have time on our hands.

But, I missed workshops, even in the Lighthouse, because we have a little baby girl and everything, just building another business.

And, But still, whenever I get to take the time, I benefit.

And even creating something for the Lighthouse benefits me because I take time to reflect, reflect.

And then on the other hand, I get feedback on it.

So it's really, really cool, high quality stuff.

And the other thing is you, Justin, you practice what you preach.

And, that's good to have a role model in that.

And also, like everyone else in the Lighthouse does so too, so in their different ways.

So, like, you see the different colors of doing it, different ways of doing it, and because when I expose myself to it more, I get to practice it more as well.

So, like, all those, rules and stuff like that, the more I'm exposed to them, the more readily they come to mind and then I can apply them.

That's awesome.

Thank you, Moritz.

Oh, Paul, glad to see your hand go back up.

Look.

What did you have to say, Paul?

Yeah, I can only repeat the gratitude if we've been here and here, you know, special to be here and on the Lighthouse.

To me, it's just like a gas station for motivation.

Anytime I'm here, you know, with you or without you, you know, I leave with weights of motivation, you know.

So for anybody who's thinking about joining the Lighthouse, you know, I recommend taking, advantage of the general discussion area where everybody share their thoughts, experiences, and it's so crazy.

We're so different, you know, and we're from different fields, but I can still take everything and apply them in my own environment and see good results.

And that motivates you more.

So, thanks.

Thank you, Paul.

Man.

Well, the feeling is mutual.

As, as.

As we've said, we're.

We're all learning from each other, so it's it's been a great experience.

Oh, great.

All right, well, let's go back to the presentation.

Just going to ask this next question and finish up really this section of the, of the workshop and give us now a chance to do this exercise ourselves.

So how can we build upon this from the Lighthouse?

More community.

Hopefully we're bringing more people in, more perspectives.

That's one of the goals of this week, actually.

More events, which I'm just going to give you a sneak peek to in a second.

And I learned this term years ago and I love it.

Don't be a know it all, be a learn it all.

So we continue.

I think Moritz hit the nail on the head.

We're not trying to advertise ourselves here, really.

Just trying to share what we've learned or get help, on a challenge that we're facing.

And through those exchanges we're all benefiting and we're all continuing to learn about the events just to whet your appetite.

For you Lighthouse members and for those of you who are considering the next three months, we have.

I put them in the wrong order here.

I think our next one is actually in the middle.

Larae Kwai, who, I interviewed like eight or nine years ago for INC Magazine.

She is a former FBI agent.

She has a great story.

She was a farmer turned spy is the way she likes to describe it.

and just learning emotional intelligence and mental toughness lessons from her.

She wrote this book here, Secrets of a Strong Mind.

So we're going to get a chance to ask her direct questions and learn from her.

I think 18 years in the FBI and also running her own business.

after that is Richard Wa, who is the worldwide head of the epic, which is an emotional intelligence centered program for Amazon.

and so he runs that program for he works for Amazon Web Services, but I believe it's for all of Amazon.

I know there's like tens and tens of thousands of people in that program.

So we're going to be talking about emotional intelligence in the age of artificial intelligence.

That's going to be an interesting discussion.

Then Jessie Finkelstein, who you see here on the right, she was very instrumental in helping me with the book EQ Applied.

She's the co CEO of Page 2, which is a hybrid publisher.

and she has just one of the most emotionally intelligent people I've met.

So she's going to share lessons in dealing, using emotional intelligence and dealing with people, but also in how she used that and leaving the publishing industry and Starting her own business and all the challenges she faced with that.

That's in December, just like we said, whet your appetite for what's coming up.

And, got many more down the pipeline that we're in talks with, so hopefully a lot more learnings.

Now it's your turn.

We're including everyone here, you, lighthouse members, you, that are interested.

we're going to use this worksheet.

If, you have that worksheet, great.

I know I put it in the lighthouse.

Maybe you got a chance to print it out.

But if not, here are the questions that we're using right here.

And so what we're going to do is we're going to take, between seven and ten minutes here.

I'm just looking at the time.

I'm three minutes behind, but maybe we'll take the full ten minutes.

We'll see.

and we're going to have some silence here.

So I'll be here if you have questions.

But, usually when we do this, there's not too many questions, but I'm here if you need me.

Otherwise, I would say stick your, volume on low on zero and take 10 minutes to go through these questions and actually complete the exercise.

Now complete your rule of reappraisal and take time to reflect.

And then at the end of that, we will discuss any lessons learned.

Okay.

All right, I am going to leave this screen on.

Feel free to shut your volume off and set a timer for, let's say eight minutes, if that's okay.

Hopefully it's enough time.

All right, I'll see you in eight minutes.

Okay, well, hopefully you had time to at least, do some of these questions here.

And we encourage you to keep going with this.

We'll talk about that though, in a minute.

but maybe we open it up.

Anyone want to share something?

Maybe they unlocked they didn't necessarily think too much about in recent times.

any learnings.

We won't go through the questions one by one.

We'll let you just speak to anything you gained from the exercise.

Justin, you got two people raise their hands.

I think Justin just dropped out.

Oh, okay.

Technically, because he the wi Fi.

No worries.

Now he's back.

Okay, I got kicked out for a second and now I can't see anyone's picture, but I do see some hands.

So maybe I start with Kevin if you can hear me, Kevin, I can.

Welcome back, Justin.

when I came into this, I didn't know what to expect at all.

I didn't know.

I didn't know what I might achieve.

But really what I've done is I've pushed myself into new territory, sharing with a group of people that I never.

I'm just a fire guy and never imagined I'd have an opportunity to share with a group from around the world.

and that's led to, some other opportunities.

You know, speaking to this group.

And then I recently was interviewed, for a podcast on leadership.

and it's because I've felt more confident from the affirmation or acknowledgement that I've received in this group.

it's, it's made me see that my perspective, like, your perspective, is valuable.

Everybody's bring something.

and as long as you're open to hearing that, there's just so much to learn out there.

and this has inspired me to keep doing what I'm doing currently and sharing with other people to speak up, to share your perspective because it's valuable.

And it all started because I took a chance emailing this guy I met on the Internet that does this emotional intelligence thing, and it's turned out way better than I could have ever imagined.

Thank you, Justin.

Oh, man, that means a lot.

Thank you, Kevin.

I love.

By the way, I love Kevin's description, of himself.

You know, he's just a fire guy.

Just spent years helping people save their lives and training others, you know, But I think that humility is what helps also make your perspective so valuable and appreciated.

Denise.

Thank you, Justin.

Yeah, yeah, I'll be quick because I'm sure there's a lot of others who'd like to share.

I think for me, like, it was surprising to have the time to just sit and reflect.

I learned a lot that I had accomplished or achieved without even realizing it.

You know, the thoughts start to come in, and I was very surprised.

It kind of took me back for a minute.

I was like, oh, I guess there has been a lot of progress made.

So I think for me, it's, you know, give myself the time to do this on a.

Maybe it's not every week, but maybe it's a monthly basis.

Just, you know, set aside the time and it's eight minutes.

We've all got eight minutes, I'm sure.

and just be intentional about that, I think, is one of the things I'll take away from this today.

That's Great, Denise.

And if I can make one recommendation, stick it in your calendar today.

Make it a recurring appointment, you know, 8 minutes, 10 minutes, however much time you want to use and every so often, Lynn, please look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Hi everyone.

first time here?

I been getting your emails and I read them occasionally because I haven't had a lot of time.

But, I want to say I'm more open.

I started working with a life coach about three months ago.

and I, she helped me start my own, well, no, she didn't actually help me with that, but I started my own private practice.

I'm a therapist.

one of the things I've been able to do is get out and go places by myself.

I went to Epic Universe by myself in Orlando and I had such a blast.

just a few other things.

people sharing their own stories, just being here, listening to all of you, it makes me, feel joyful, confident.

some lessons I've learned is just to face my fears and be willing to be open.

And then building upon these, continue moving forward.

And I mean there's a lot.

Just more awareness, recognizing my resistance to certain things, my, my self limiting beliefs, holding me back from, you know, going forward and more gratitude.

There's a lot I don't even have enough time to.

But I really like this because when I'm done with her, I'm not going to be able to afford her for another six months.

So I need another place to.

I need, I need a continuous continuation.

And a lot of it sounds like a lot of what you guys are saying are in line with, you know, what she is teaching, me.

So, thank you.

That's great, Lynn.

Thank you so much.

Really appreciate that perspective.

And for you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

good.

Moritz.

I'll skip to Gene, if you don't mind, and then come back to you.

Gene, like to hear from you.

Good morning.

I was surprised at what this is.

I thank you for these questions because I've been doing AI and my kids laugh at me and they go, there goes mom again.

But I realized I was in Minnesota for two months and I was introduced because of neuropathy and stuff to this healing device.

And I got, I went to four different.

I got out four different times, four different days.

And I bought it and I signed up for the distributorship.

And because of these questions, I mean, I kind of knew it, but I'm a visual person to see the answers.

I realized how confident I feel because of the AI.

Type again and say, what do I say to these doctors?

I mean, there's no way I would have come up with letters or emails like I did without AI.

And then I feel enthusiastic about it and higher sense of purpose, enlightened.

I mean, much more confident what I'm doing.

Really great.

Thank you for the questions.

Oh, that's awesome.

Thank you, Gene.

Thank you for sharing that.

Appreciate that very much.

Beautiful.

Moritz, please.

Yeah, just real quick.

So I did what you said.

I printed this out.

So really old school.

Took a pen.

I got mine here too.

Can't remember when I did that last, but it's like this is what I mentioned earlier.

Like, to have this community have perhaps to take the time to do this stuff, like when you get to drown out the noise just for a few minutes.

Because it's not that we like, have like revelations in the night all the time of things we never knew before, but it's about getting to do them, getting to practice them.

And this is, this is one big achievement, like for myself personally, also like that I get to do it more because I've been talking to you and following you forever.

But like, like I've been applying it much more in the last half year.

Oh, that's.

That's awesome.

Thank you, Moritz.

And I feel the same, even for myself.

Like, sticking in the calendar.

Having an event forces me to do it where otherwise I might push it aside and then I don't get the value from it.

maybe we get one more from Jeff and then we'll just conclude and let anybody, I mean, anyone can drop at any time if they need to, but then we'll do a, just a short conclusion.

Jeff, please.

I think you're on mute, Jeff.

Sorry.

There we go.

I.

I love the.

The rule of reappraisal.

It was just ironically last night that I had a meeting in Face to Face with a real estate appraiser that does commercial real estate.

And we got into a deep, deep dive about the industry.

And it's kind of like, okay, where is the value of this building as in its current state, and where's the projected value of what's going to happen to it that the bank wants to know about?

And so it's just like us, you know, where.

Where is our current state and our current value?

And when I did the exercise, you know, just shortly before the meeting and during the meeting, and of course my biggest big thing was I did a book.

And I'd never in my life thought I'd write a Book.

Right.

And so it's just the, the humbleness of doing that and, and the thankfulness for people who participated in it, which Justin was, Was one and there's many others.

it just makes you kind of take a step back.

So, just to.

To sit and evaluate, reflect, re.

Strategize, reconnect, re.

Re.

Any whatever put.

There's a lot of words that you could put behind that are, you know, recalibrate, remeasure.

So it's.

It's important to do, extremely important to do.

So.

Great, great.

Awesome.

Thank you, Jeff.

Well, thanks for everybody that was able to make it today.

Just a really brief review.

What did we learn?

So we talked about the what, the why.

Right.

Of, of the Reflect, recharge, refocus.

What is it?

It's a writing, and thinking exercise that you can actually do in just a relatively short amount of time.

And it helps you to reflect on what are the things that went well over the past three months, six months, whatever it is that you want to reflect on and why is it important?

Well, it helps you then to recharge because you, you shift your focus to what has gone well.

It helps you to refocus because it helps you see now what you can build upon, what you can expand, what you can repeat.

And again, it also benefits.

Benefits us because it overcomes the motivation myth and it helps us to get, over, the thought that, we need that motivation.

This is what gives us the motivation and it helps us to build a resilience muscle as we talked about.

And hopefully now you have a tool that you can continue to use and put it in your calendar.

Do it every so often, but not just that.

Share it with others.

Get your teammates to use it, Share it with your clients.

If you have your own business.

I use it, with my family, just as a friend is the one who originally taught it to me.

And so hopefully this is a tool now that you can continue to carry forward.

It will help you to, reflect on your accomplishments.

It will help you to continue to recharge and refocus.

And hopefully it helps you to be more effective in what you're doing, but find more joy in how you do it as well.

All right, I'll say goodbye to anyone that, is going to drop.

And again, thank you for everybody that was able to make it today.

As promised, I will stick around.

So for any that, have more questions, I'll, I'll be here for the next minutes.

Bye everybody.

Thank you.

Thanks Laura, so great to see you.

Thank you, Justin.

Thank you, Gloria.

meaning efforts, greater results.

Hi everyone.

Great seeing everybody.

Gotta run.

Thank you, Jeff.

Bye.

Bye.

I just want to say thank you to everyone and foreign.

You're going to be answering questions about like moving forward.

Yeah, well, about the Lighthouse in particular.

So.

Oh yeah, you saw today and you have questions about you know, anything about the Lighthouse, then I'm here to answer that.

we're doing a, membership drive basically this week.

So, the original, I think we have 30 members.

Close to 30 now.

Those are all founding members, but we're continuing that.

Founding member.

it's not a title, but basically just What does that even mean that you're a founding member?

Well, in addition to being one of the early adopters, I have, I'm basically giving VIP the VIP membership, which means I make myself available.

Available for calls.

In addition to everything else we're doing, I do four coaching calls a year with founding members.

So, that's something that eventually will be a higher price point because, be limited by time.

But since we're still a small group and I'm learning so much from everybody too, you know, I'm, I'm happy to give that and I'm learning from people like Kevin, who graciously gave his time and shared his knowledge and everything.

I think everyone benefits in the end.

What does that mean to be a member?

Can you just sort of talk about that?

Sure.

So, a member of the Lighthouse, basically you are a member of the community.

So, I basically narrow it down to a few main things.

One, you have access to the community 24.

Seven.

So we use an online platform called Circle.

I can show you what that looks like.

Lynn.

Basically, you know what, maybe I just do that real quick.

this is what it.

Where is.

This is what it looks like inside.

So that's the platform.

you have posts, what people are dealing with.

Like today.

I posted this yesterday.

Hey, we got the workshop tomorrow.

Everyone.

Most everyone knew about that already, but I just went ahead and posted the worksheet to make it easier for anyone.

They don't have to go dig it up.

They can just click it, print it.

Kevin shared a really nice post this week.

Got 6 comments.

A lot of people, reflected what he was writing and the lesson that he shared there.

So that's like the, the daily you'll get posts in here, but then monthly you'll get an event.

So this one is now in the past.

We just did it today.

Every month.

Last month it was Kevin's workshop Mission Vision Values.

The month before was a keeper.

Catch up, where we're just catching up with each other and seeing what we're doing, which we talked about in the presentation was the month before.

And then next month will be laraequay.

It's actually in just two weeks.

the FBI former FBI agent Richard Huaz.

The next month Jesse, the co CEO of Page two Books is the next one.

So each month we have an event and then what else?

You also get access to the toolkit and basically you get access to all my work.

So it's a yearly membership fee.

Right now, it's $499 a year.

But that's that gives you the founding member.

So you get four coaching calls too with that.

Which normally wouldn't be included with that.

And I'm going to announce that as a bonus in tomorrow's email just so that it doesn't come as a surprise.

But Yeah, but you get access to all my.

As long as you're a member, you get access to all my work.

So whenever I, I like to say everything flows into the Lighthouse or out of it.

So I'm either creating something for the lighthouse and you get access to that and then I sell it on the side to others who aren't in the lighthouse or if I teach a class, I happen to teach a class to others.

Then as a member of the Lighthouse you're welcome to join that class too.

So anything I do, you get access to it if you're a member of the lighthouse.

And if I write a book, you get a copy of the book.

If you if I do a new workshop, you're.

You automatically get access to that workshop.

Like what we did today.

That's the first time we've opened it to the public and it was with the purpose of just showing people what we're doing and if they, you know, we don't want to sell people something they don't need or that they won't find value in.

But this gives them a chance.

Sometimes it's hard to measure.

Well, how much value does something like this offer?

Well this gives them a chance to see up front and go through the experience and see if that's something they feel like brings enough value or not.

Nice.

Thank you.

I heard a lot of things today that would definitely not only help me but my clients.

And so I don't want to have two Life coaches at the same time.

But I think I could probably at least maybe join the community and make that part of my community, because that was part of my.

One of my goals was to build stronger connections and strengthen my sense of community when I started working with her.

So that's great.

Yeah.

So this would fit in with that.

Maybe one other thing that mentioned that actually Kevin helped inspire.

He knows this.

we also give 10 licenses per year to, members to those courses that they can share with others.

So, for example, if you're a coach or a consultant, and that's in your wheelhouse, helping people with some of these things, which I often say, emotional intelligence is almost everything.

Everything is emotional intelligence because emotions underpin all the decisions we make.

So usually coaches can use then this course.

I know Kevin has done that.

We have at least one or two other members have done that where they grant access to one of the courses to their client and say, hey, let's use lesson four as our basis of discussion next time.

Then it makes your job a little bit easier because it's less prep time for the next lesson.

and it gives you something that hopefully is giving them value, and you're getting value.

When I teach a workshop like this, I'm getting so much value out of it because, as you know, when you teach or help someone else with something, it makes it more part of you as well.

So that's another bonus, especially for, I think, especially for business owners, is what I wanted to say.

Or people with their own practice, because I think team leads and managers, they could use that too.

In fact, we have, a veterinary practice owner in the lighthouse, and she uses that.

She's given it to at least four or five members of her team.

That's awesome.

But I think even more so for.

If you have, your own practice, then it's super valuable and you can incorporate that now into, a coaching package, for example, and then it enhances the value of what you're selling as well.

Yeah, I definitely.

I'm, actually a therapist, a licensed therapist in Florida.

But, you know, part of that is I, as I found, you know, through my practice is.

Is coaching and, you know, just helping people help, motivating people and getting them to move forward and finding out what's keeping them stuck and stuff like that.

So.

Yeah, this.

This is great.

Thank you.

Yeah, you're very welcome.

Thanks for joining today.

My pleasure.

And if you have questions later on, Lynn, just shoot them.

You have my email, so.

Okay, I will definitely do that.

I.

I was lucky enough to have 12 to 1 free today.

So my next client's not till 2, but, I really enjoyed this a lot.

And thank you, everybody, for sharing your experience, strength and hope.

Thank you too, Lynn.

Okay, bye, everyone.

Bye.

Goodbye.