JJ HernandezAug 2, 2026
Sales Coaching: Leading with Respect and Beliefs 💼
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Sales Coaching: Leading with Respect and Beliefs 💼
JJ Hernandez
This coaching session breaks down a sales call, focusing on the importance of leading with respect, using logical questioning, and challenging prospect beliefs. Learn how to identify customer narratives to deepen conversations and improve your closing process.
Sales Coaching: Leading with Respect and Beliefs 💼
JJ Hernandez
This coaching session breaks down a sales call, focusing on the importance of leading with respect, using logical questioning, and challenging prospect beliefs. Learn how to identify customer narratives to deepen conversations and improve your closing process.
Chapters
00:00
Respect First
Establishing the importance of respect over likability in sales interactions.
04:02
Influencer Conviction
05:48
Logical Questioning
10:56
Human Narratives
15:01
Challenging Beliefs
20:13
Refining Questions
27:07
Cognitive Dissonance
39:54
Call Review
Transcript
00:01
All right, let's do it.
00:02
Dorsa.
00:29
It's a big concept door, so that I always like to teach is just respect first, likability later.
01:04
And I think you did a great job.
01:06
Right.
01:06
I think, sometimes we will open up and be like a little too friendly.
01:11
It's like, yeah, I got a dog tattoo.
01:12
I need one too.
01:13
Right?
01:13
It's like.
01:14
But you didn't shift too high energetically to where it felt like you were trying to win him over as a friend.
01:24
So it was really good.
01:25
And then you kind of went back to like this like neutral, ish energy where it just kind of like stayed here.
01:35
and you're not again, you're not trying to win them over, with anything else other than respect.
01:39
So.
01:39
But just keep that in mind.
01:40
Always, like, be a little more neutral than what you think you need to be, because at the end of the day, like, one, especially if they're selling mostly men, and you're a woman, they're always going to be like, like a little more softer with you.
01:52
and sometimes it can lead to, them not taking you as seriously, for lack of a better term.
02:01
So always lead with respect first.
02:02
Like, have them earn the right to like, make you smile, make you laugh.
02:06
And then again, as time progresses, they earn that.
02:10
And then it's like, okay, cool, like, I gained respect already.
02:36
It's.
03:23
Let's go back a little bit.
03:27
Okay.
04:02
So he's really convicted in the influencer, which means, like, we almost need to focus on not d selling.
04:09
Right.
04:09
So when I worked for Iman, they were so convicted, convicted in Iman.
04:13
And so it's like, okay, cool.
04:15
Like they love Iman.
04:16
You know, he's.
04:17
He's the guy, right?
04:18
You don't have to really flex your sales muscles with somebody like this.
04:22
It's almost just making sure that we don't take them away from the conviction that the influencer already brought to them.
04:29
We need to build on that almost or just at least keep it where it is.
04:44
It's.
05:12
It's.
05:48
So I can even tell you Dorset from like the first three questions.
05:53
I don't know if you're following a framework or what it is that you're doing where you're going a little scriptless.
05:58
the biggest thing you want to understand and I think is the process every time.
06:05
and so are we going from current state to future, future to current, are we going to do problem awareness, solution awareness?
06:14
It doesn't really matter, but I Think it's really making it feel like there's logical questioning.
06:22
And so like, for example, he's day trading, and then wants to consider getting into E Comm, like even more so than if it's his full time or not, and getting context there.
06:34
We want to understand what has wanted a transition.
06:37
And when I think about logical questioning, it's.
06:39
It should make sense to ask the next question versus like feeling like we're just like shooting from the hip and like jumping around.
06:45
And I think that's what it feels like right now.
06:47
But if, we're clear on the process and it's simpler to find what we're looking for.
06:55
Right.
06:56
So I'd be curious to know what your process looks like.
07:43
Really good.
07:43
It's almost like you're.
07:44
I always say you should ask the question.
07:47
I saw your face.
07:49
Okay.
07:50
I guess, I guess a very specific thing.
07:52
It's good that you're challenging beliefs, right?
07:53
You want to go belief, and it dictates a belief dictates identity, and then identity dictates actions.
08:00
Right?
08:00
So you went to belief first, which is really good.
08:03
but it's almost like you want to ask the questions you want to know the answer to versus just asking the questions you need to.
08:12
Because a mixture of that then, progresses the conversation very fairly.
08:27
It's.
08:59
It's.
09:04
It's.
10:03
It's So what I'll.
10:56
What I'll tell you, Dorsa, some high level stuff here, is us as humans, we live in narratives, okay?
11:06
And so there's different archetypes that we live into.
11:09
And this isn't like some personality recognition bullshit.
11:12
Like, this is like legitimately how we view our lives.
11:15
So there's like the hero story, right?
11:18
It's like a narrative.
11:19
It's a story, hero story, which like 70% of us are.
11:23
Which technically, like this guy kind of is like, I'm working on something to take care of my family.
11:28
Right.
11:29
I'd even argue that you're probably living the hero story where it's like you are trying to get better at sales, to progress, to be able to accomplish something that you want to accomplish in your blah, blah, blah, blah.
11:40
It's like we're always working on something as entrepreneurs.
11:43
but, mostly, what I look, at is like patterns.
11:49
And when you look at these patterns, it really tells a story.
11:52
And so he is living to what I call the explorer, which is like, he's rooted in novelty, right?
11:58
He's doing law enforcement and then he's got the plumbing and then he got the day trading.
12:02
Now he wants to do econ.
12:03
it's like he is wanting to take care of his family.
12:08
And like that's like the story in the background but on the front.
12:11
And he's just always rooted in new things.
12:14
I want something new, I want something new, I want something new.
12:16
And so it's like plugging in this thing as the next step to allowing him to live the hero story.
12:22
But he's naturally an explorer, is really high level, but is what needs to happen.
12:28
So if we paint this as the next step in his story, then it basically creates the outcome we want.
12:36
That's a really, really high level.
12:38
But I'm letting you know like so you can see it more often.
12:41
Right?
12:42
the her, the explorer, the rebel.
12:44
Right?
12:44
The one who is like, I'm not like everybody else.
12:47
I never was like everybody else.
12:48
It's the guys who are like very conspiracy theorists.
12:52
Very sorry, conspiracy theorist.
12:56
just like vaccines and all this bullshit is so bad.
13:00
Which is subjective.
13:01
Right.
13:01
But it's like they're really against like very Andrew Tate esque kind of guys.
13:05
Right?
13:06
Those are like some of the greatest sales reps I've ever met.
13:08
But it's like we all live into a narrative and so say we can understand that then we can create the next step in their.
13:14
It's It's.
14:18
It's.
15:01
Don't Feel like you need to contextualize that?
15:04
Ask the question.
15:05
It hits harder.
15:07
This almost like takes the power away from it.
15:28
So this is like a direct challenge, what I would do, to do indirectly.
15:34
This is almost where it becomes like you're a magician, right?
15:38
I'd say, you know, fard, when you're.
15:50
So let's go like based off what you said, you said, so you can jumping from job to job to job.
15:56
You see that?
15:56
You said you notice that you're jumping job to job to job, trying to figure out what's next from law enforcement.
16:01
Yeah, it does seem like the how and it's like, you know, fardo, what do you think you're looking for when you're jumping from one thing to another?
16:11
Really try to understand his belief.
16:14
Right.
16:14
It's almost like when people ask me like, or tell me like, I'm looking at other coaches and da, da, da, da, da.
16:19
And I'm like, okay, and what are you using to dictate your decision?
16:23
Like how are you gonna figure out who the best fit for You.
16:27
So I understand their belief and how they conceptualize this.
16:30
And once I can understand that, then I have all the power once they give me that answer.
16:35
Because either they don't know and I create the answer, or they do know and I become their answer.
16:42
That's it.
16:44
Really simple.
16:44
And it's super simple.
16:47
and so here it's a direct challenge.
16:48
And the thing is, the good thing is with you Dorsa is again, guys are usually softer with females.
16:57
if you were to ask them like that, they're not going to judge you as hard as they would a guy.
17:05
Right.
17:05
Because with guys, it's power dynamics.
17:10
With guys and girls, there's still a power dynamic.
17:13
Yes.
17:13
Especially if it's like, very, very, like, masculine guy who's like, you're not gonna ask me that question.
17:19
But if you get them to a place where there is a level of respecting that's getting.
17:24
That's gained, and it's just not like, super friendly.
17:26
Like, you're not selling like, the girl who's like, which.
17:30
Good, right?
17:30
Because my girls are just like, use.
17:31
Like, I'm just gonna flirt with them.
17:33
Or like, I'm gonna use my.
17:34
My soft tactics.
17:35
Not about that.
17:37
Like, you're treating like a true process and you've already gained some authority.
17:41
He's already vulnerable.
17:42
And so, like, you asking that, it's gonna like, she's not wrong and I respect her enough to respond to it.
17:49
Right.
17:49
The only time you would lose that is if you don't have that respect.
17:53
So I just think understanding, like, the reason I'm sharing this all with these, like, direct challenges can work, but you have to gain the respect and the authority.
17:59
If you don't have it, it's better to beliefs to then get them to see how they are thinking about their process.
18:06
But then it goes back to what I was saying before.
18:08
Belief dictates identity, which dictates actions.
18:11
So no matter what, challenging beliefs will always get you further.
18:22
Because he's like, defending himself almost here versus like.
18:26
Like, yeah, ye.
18:35
Good.
19:05
It's.
19:37
It's.
20:13
So the one thing you want to understand is like, you know, Farad, where does that.
20:18
Where does that pressure come from?
20:21
Right?
20:23
Like.
20:23
And yeah, he said, you know, I waste a lot of times in my twenties.
20:27
And.
20:29
And you can even give context to it.
20:31
You know, it's.
20:31
I know you're saying you wasted your time in your 20s, but put that aside.
20:38
Right?
20:38
Or you could even like, it's just not put it aside.
20:41
Whatever.
20:42
You can use it and the reason I'm saying this door says, well understands like what the way I teach you the four levels of communication, it's like what you say, how you say your, your intention, and how you feel about yourself.
20:52
What you're saying is not as important as you think.
20:53
That's why it's not like I'm going to have to say this exact wording, but it's like, you know, you could say, hey, age aside, where does that pressure come from?
21:02
If you really want to like, remove the idea of the twenties?
21:05
But even if you just ask the question, like, where does that pressure come from?
21:08
Is it, I'm older now and it's.
21:13
Do you really think that's it?
21:15
Just because you're older, why do you believe that's a reason to have this pressure?
21:23
And then he's like, shit, dude, like, where.
21:25
What the fuck, Dorsa?
21:26
Like, what are you asking?
21:27
Like, where is this?
21:28
How do you see this?
21:31
literally they'll feel like you've seen it makes him feel like you truly see him.
21:37
And people want to be seen and heard.
21:42
And anything that can be said as a statement.
21:45
We said, we asked as a question.
21:46
Always ask the question, not the statement.
22:02
It's a leading question.
22:38
Right.
22:39
So it's like, it's.
22:41
It's not that you can't ask questions like this.
22:44
it's just we're leading him to.
22:51
To almost where we want him to be.
22:54
Right.
22:54
Versus, I don't want to say guiding him, but almost like, unknowingly and almost like almost making it feel like he's taking us there.
23:14
Right.
23:15
and so the quality of your questions dictate the quality of their responses.
23:20
And not that a low quality question.
23:22
It's just you're leading him and like a sophisticated buyer would see that you're leading him in that direction.
23:28
And I'm not saying leading in like a good way leading.
23:30
It's almost like, hey, like.
23:32
And that's why we're here today.
23:33
Right.
23:35
And you see how that can be impactful to you.
23:37
Right?
23:37
It's like almost like instead of just being like.
23:42
And let's go back to the question.
23:43
I'll help you re ask this however you ask it.
23:47
So all I would leverage is like his words.
24:12
So it's like instead of being, the quality of your financial situation, like, and so you're.
24:20
You're not proud now, why?
24:25
Right.
24:26
Something like that.
24:27
And then it would lead to like, his lack of quality of like, if that's the direction you want to go down.
24:31
I still think we can improve the process though, because I think this is more or less like we're looking for the direction versus knowing the direction we're going.
24:49
To.
25:10
My biggest question is just like, why is he looking for something else?
25:13
Like it just doesn't make sense to me.
25:18
And if it doesn't make sense to me or you, the closer, it doesn't make sense to them.
25:23
Right.
25:23
So we want to get clear on that.
25:32
It's it.
27:07
So the reason why, even now, right.
27:09
So it's tough because you're kind of just shooting from the hip.
27:12
Right.
27:12
And so it's like if we knew we were going current, which he kind of went current to future, it's almost like now if we're in future state, which I'm going to assume you are, it's almost like we want to create more of like a conceptualized future.
27:32
Right.
27:32
Something that he can actually see.
27:33
It's tangible, as like what would winning look like?
27:37
Right.
27:37
And so it's like, okay.
27:41
And so it's like competitive.
27:46
And then you can do what you call cognitive dissonance.
27:49
You can take what he's saying and then create separation from what he's saying versus actually doing.
27:58
So it's like you're saying you're competitive far, but it's like.
28:08
It seems like up until now you've kind of been coasting, you know, so would you say you're actually letting them lean into that and it's like, no, that's why I'm here.
28:24
I'm here to invest, to win.
28:25
Da da da.
28:26
Again, kind of like playing into the narrative, playing into the identity.
28:30
It's really high level stuff.
28:32
But I really look for people's beliefs in themselves and then I challenge them to then create separation, to then shift their identity so they do the action that I want.
28:48
That right here is really like a low level of consciousness.
28:51
If you know, like the map of consciousness, that's like desire.
28:54
Really low.
29:03
Good question.
30:00
We'll get away from these questions, don't worry.
30:03
That's like this is safety questions.
30:16
It's It.
31:09
It's it.
32:24
I like it.
32:27
Strong frame.
32:33
A unique way to ask that question.
34:36
Probably the strongest question you've asked so far to you.
34:39
yeah, if you ask this and then you said, what do you believe needs to change.
34:59
In you in order to get there?
35:04
Right.
35:04
And then he'd be like, what do you mean in me?
35:06
It's like, well, not your actions, but what beliefs do you think needs to change in order to make this possible.
35:16
That's kind of like the direction I'd go from and ask a question like that because then the byproduct of all that would then be the actions you want him to take.
35:25
Right.
35:26
It's like he's buying the identity, not just the program.
36:19
Not bad.
36:23
Could be stronger.
36:27
It.
36:48
yeah.
36:53
He resonates with you though.
36:54
Like he respects you for sure.
36:56
Basic.
36:56
Again, more sophisticated buyers won't, won't buy into this.
36:59
But again, I don't know, you're the influencer song for like with the influencer you are ascending into a more assumed status and that's good.
37:09
And I've sold for big, big names and like you don't have to flex your sales muscles on calls like this.
37:16
Like I'm more than certain this will close.
37:20
But just remember again like these offers, it's you, it's just not decelling.
37:26
If you don't d sell it, you'll be fine.
39:12
So it was a surface level discovery.
39:56
But again he's bought into the influencer and so you didn't decel to where it was detrimental or hurt him.
40:04
but it was a little service level.
40:06
So like someone who's a little more un aware, or less problem aware or less solution aware, would, would, would not be as ready as this guy.
40:18
but even the surface level questions you were asking, it did resonate but it was only surface level because we didn't get deeper after asking each question.
40:25
Like it comes from like level one, level two, level three, questioning.
40:27
We stayed at level one, maybe level two for the majority of the call.
40:35
It.
40:37
I'm not going to overthink this with you.
41:25
We can shorten this.
41:26
You like to keep under five minutes completely.
41:29
Like you're not sharing your screen though.
41:31
That's really good.
41:31
But we could work through just shortening it.
41:40
yeah.
42:19
Amazing.
42:20
Again, it's not like a flex your sales muscles.
42:22
I mean if you give me like a Shittier call like 100, it could be like more takeaways.
42:27
I mean again you can see the, the, the process and how you can improve it.
42:32
And I'll even show you what I mean by like how we can improve this.
42:35
Right.
42:35
So if we come here and we go to like sales process, it'll be like this intro.
42:44
Respect likability.
42:45
First set your frame.
42:46
Current reality, problem awareness, solution awareness, future pacing and then consequence.
42:51
You followed most of it again like you were.
42:54
It wasn't far off, but it's like, it didn't.
42:55
It's not like we stayed in each stage and we didn't get the depth that we need.
43:00
And so, like, it'll be like this plus a combination of, you know, challenging beliefs and then really getting depth with subjective language.
43:08
And someone's like, yeah, it's been really difficult.
43:10
What do you mean by difficult?
43:11
Getting that understanding, get clarity, get the depth, move on.
43:14
Right?
43:15
And then we hear beliefs issues or even identity issues, because identities are just labels for beliefs, right?
43:21
So it's like they believe that they're, you know, a, someone who wants to win in life.
43:31
Right?
43:31
And then he labels that as competitive.
43:35
That's essentially what it is.
43:37
And so, that's how you want to go through that process.
43:39
But we'll dive into all this stuff.
43:41
Let me have any questions, Dorsa.
43:42
I'll see you soon.
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